BiNGE Notes

Rambling thoughts of a cartooning cab driver on the Jersey Shore

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

OK, one more Guido in my cab story...

Closing time in August: Three over juiced t-shirt stretchers get in my cab at D-Jaise night club on the ocean. For those not familiar with D-Jaise, it's a club in Belmar NJ that Italians go to during mating season, at least in the summer mating season. Who knows where the hell they go for the other three mating seasons. Anyway, these Goombas dumped hundreds at the bar on bimbos and struck out. So they bang and squeeze themselves into my car complaining about how stuck up the bitches were. As I maneuver down narrow streets at 2 am dodging vomiting tourists with four drunk, frustrated and angry steroid junkies surrounding me, one taps me on the shoulder. "Yo! You a cab driver, you gotta know where we can get our c*cks sucked! Come'on, good cabbies always know where we can get our c*cks sucked! We'll even PAY TO GET OUR C*CKS SUCKED!" "Nope, sorry dudes, I don't" I did know of a place in Neptune city that was open. But would I send you in and say "Tell'em driver 27 sent you..." No way, They'd never let me back in again.
So I said real loud, "There's four of you, go back to your room, put on some porn and daisy chain it dudes. First one who cums has to suck off the other three." Ok, I said that about a mile after I dropped their drunk asses off.

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