BiNGE Notes

Rambling thoughts of a cartooning cab driver on the Jersey Shore

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

oh yea, an anudder ting....

Ask any bartender on the Jersey Shore who's the worst tippers, Guidos. They're loud, obnoxious high maintenance customers. Guidos expect every third drink to be free, like it's a privilege to serve them. The whole night they boast "Don't worry, I'll take care of you..." At the end of the night they leave a buck, in his mind that was a good tip. I drive home many bartenders and servers here on the shore. All say the money in the summer is great, but they earn every stinkin dime. As a cab driver, I'll second that.My buddy Aaron's favorite story of cab driving I tell is: One summer night 3 drunk Guidos (if I remember correctly their names were Antnee, Antnee and Tony ) stagger over to the cab stand looking for a ride back to the motor lodge where later on some drunk Ho's promised to come by and suck them dry. This according to the more articulate one of the group. This one juicehead stumbles back into my van with a slice of pizza. Generally I insist on no food in the car. However I know better than to get between a drunk Italian and food. I let it slide. As we waited for one member of the party to finish relieving himself on the side of my dispatcher's car, the pizza Gudio says "Jersey pizza sucks, we're here to bang your bitches." Pulling away from the curb Pizza boy asks "How do I open dis back window?" I snap "Why? Are you going to chuck?" "No, I want to throw this slice at some fagget as we drive down the street!" In a stern tone I informed him throwing food from the vehicle was forbidden. He had a blank stare as he sincerely asked "Why the hell not? Open dis f*ckin window." I pull back to the curb "OK! Everybody out!" " Why? Ya kidden? You're an asshole cab driver!" A slice of pizza slapped onto the back window of my van as I pulled away. True story.

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