BiNGE Notes

Rambling thoughts of a cartooning cab driver on the Jersey Shore

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Mobsters and Cartoonists

It was back in 1991, I was drawing ed-carts for a small local newspaper here on the Jersey shore called "The Leader." One of the paper's biggest advertisers was a man who owned about 80% of the boardwalk and other family oriented businesses. He was dragged into court to be questioned in murder trial. Apparently his nephew was found dead up in the Meadowlands. He had been beaten to death by a golf club. Obvious mob hit. His uncle, a local big shot was splashed all over newspapers throughout the state, except for the one in his home town. My editor didn’t want to touch it. I, a cartoonist with no formal journalism education chastised the editor for overlooking a story of such magnitude.



He agreed to let me do a cartoon as long as I didn’t use the guy’s name. The following week about 60-70% of the advertisers in our shore town dropped their ads from the paper. My editor was scared to start his car in the morning. After working for the paper for almost 4 years, the editor recieved a call for the first time from the owner. Mark Goodson, the TV producer owned our weekly paper. It seems he was not too amused by my cartoon.


I was almost out the door when a man walked in asking to talk to the editor. He praised my cartoon and said it was great. The man was the leading prosecutor of organized crime for NJ. He had faxed the cartoon to almost every orginized crime investigator in the state and Washington DC. The Mark Goodson decided to give me one more chance as long as I didn’t try to take on the mob any more. In a few weeks advertising returned to normal.

Penis size

It seems like every time I sign on to the Internet I am bombarded by penis enhancement ads. I'm comfortable with myself so I just click exit. A few years ago I was sitting in the kitchen of a skanky divorcee' listening to her and an equally drunk skank friend talk about penises. Both complaining about how difficult it is to find a suitable size these days. I remember contemplating how each of these hagged out wretches probably have had close to a 1,000 men in their beds since high school. Not to mention 2 or 3 kids each had by several different fathers. Now, in their forties they discover somehow all of a sudden the average man is insufficient to bring them pleasure.
Hey, I'm the same size as a man as I was when I was 18 years old, I doubt either of them could make that claim about their heavily trafficked vaginas. I used to drive a commuter bus into Manhattan every day though the Lincoln tunnel. Never once did my bus ever touch the wall of the tunnel. Was it because my 40 foot bus was too small? If these woman had put up a toll booth they now would have as much money as the Port Authority. That's my view on penis size.

NEWSPAPERS AND THE MEDIA


As an editorial cartoonist myself, I can tell you newspapers are a dead and dying thing of the past. And they deserve to die a slow painfull death. Die like a greedy drugged out whores that they are. Used up from a careless and reckless lifetime of ugly living. Selling themselves to the perverted whims of advertisers and special interests. Diseased shells of a former beauty pimped out by the twisted editors and owners who have no regard for truth, just a lust for the dollar. The internet is the new pillar of truth, stepping over the corpse of print media.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

God and stuff

I've been thinking about religion, I'm not pissed at God or anything. I mean I have no idea who the hell he really is. I just am stuck with a warped and twisted notion of him given to me by warped and twisted ministers who have no clue about him either. Ok, they claim the Bible (or Koran or Torah) is the inherant word of God. This after some pope hundreds of years ago tore out entire books of it and probally changed a few words here and there. I've worked with editors, truth gets filtered through thier minds. So today fat ass ministers claim "The word of god is truth, protected by the holy spirit blah blah"

Really? The claim is now that pope whoever was divinely inspired to edit the bible according to God's will. Right. I'm sure the bits scratched out had to do with keeping the leadership in check (or absent all together) and we'll increase the tithe part up to 10%. We'll never know.

Monday, August 10, 2009

ATTENTION DEMOCRATS

As you may be able to tell from the cartoons since last November I am not what one might call an Obama supporter. In fact I have devoted all of my artistic energies to criticizing President Obama and his feeble tax dodging puppets. Granted, this website may not be a noted source political commentaries. However, the cartoons are finding an audience in viral emails. An underground voice of dissension that is very difficult to silence. In these days of "controlled media" the subversive element in this country need a quick and popular medium to spread their ideas. Cartoons are the perfect choice of counter-propaganda weaponry.In September 09, I will do 30 cartoons about health care in 30 days. They will not be supporting the Democratic position, nor will they be flattering.Let me cut to the chase. I will cease and desist from Anti-Obama cartoons, health care satire, incompetent political hack humor and a pro-right stance for the "retainer fee" of twenty thousand dollars. With all of the trillions of dollars being thrown around, twenty thousand is like bumming a cigarette from Sir Walter Raleigh. You could siphon it to me in the form of an artistic grant or if you prefer more covertly. The day I wake up and $20,000 is in my bank account, all of the Obama bashing cartoons come down off of my web site and will be permanently deleted. This tiny sum by Washington's standard will remove what could become a rather infectious thorn in one's side. An ounce of prevention...