BiNGE Notes

Rambling thoughts of a cartooning cab driver on the Jersey Shore

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Alcoholics Autonomous

Let me start off this ramble by saying "I have plenty of addictions" I'm tired of people trying to add more of them on my plate. Gamblers scolding me because I don't play the lottery, "You'll never get rich if you don't play" That statement coming from guys that drop $60 a day on losing tickets. Obese people calling me skinny, saying I look unhealthy and I should eat more junk food to put on weight (Really, I've been told that) Cokeheads trying to talk me into going "halvies" with them on blow. As a cab driver, I deal with hardcore alcoholics every night. My nightly encounters with them keep me from ever picking up a bottle again. (maybe) I don't want to get self righteous on this, because their traits only show me MY SHORTCOMINGS.

Here are a list of observations I have made. Perhaps it's already been covered in the AA book, I wouldn't know. Friends of Bill W. are every bit as annoying as friends of Jack D. Why do drunks have a need to give opinions and advice? Experts on everything, and "Just trying to help you..." Once they dry up, they are suddenly experts on how you're messing up your life and they can help you do an inventory of your shortcomings. The very fact there is a cult of dry drunks in a church basement somewhere spouting how they know the answers is not that far removed from a bar filled with sloppy drunks doing exactly the same thing. I think part of having the answer is keeping it to yourself. Your relationship with god is important, once you share it with others it becomes a religion and totally ruins everything you and god had going. That's all together another blog, religion

Loners are not lonely, to the contrary they don't need a lot of social interaction to be happy. The sad and lonely people are the ones who must have other lonely people around themselves all of the time. Drunks are lonely individuals who have a real need to socialize. Every night I hear them say "I know so-and-so, do you?" Always on the cell phone making social plans to indulge together. "Driver, where do you like to drink?" "I don't" "Oh, did the judge make you stop?" "No, I just choose not to." "Well, what do you do then?" "I jerk off to pictures of your mother." Drunks can quickly become violent I have found. I think a lot of them base their self esteem on how many phone calls they get. "I know everyone." Yes you do, and all of them take my cab because they have lost their drivier's licenses too.

What have all of these alcoholics taught me? I'm no different, sitting here spouting my unsolicited opinion. Next time I'll tell you everything god wants you to know.

Monday, July 21, 2008


I am a night shift cab driver in Belmar Nj. A good portion of my personal income arrives from obnoxious, vulgar, inconsidorate "Guidos" from Staten Island. Whatever amount of money I bring home from them does not even come close to covering the anger management classes I need by mid summer. For the past few weeks I have been listening to an infinite number of passengers and co-workers bash Mayor Kenneth Pringle over his statement concerning the visitors to this fine town. When pressed, they all privately agree his coments were on the mark. They follow thier agreement with "He just shouldn't have said it." Ok, your'e upset that a politician did not sugar coat a politicly correct statement and cater to both sides of a fence. After listening to my passengers lamb baste the Mayor for years, I kept wondering how has he managed to be re-elected so many times? Simple: Elections are held on Tuesdays, and everyone who opposes Pringle can be found at Bar Aniticipation on Tuesday night for the "beat the clock" happy hour. If you really gave a crap about local politics, you'd put down your fifty cent draft and get your drunken asses off the bar stool for a half hour and go down to the polls. Oh wait, you forgot to register didn't you?

"16th & Main" 2004

Don't get me wrong, I've stumbled out of a few bars in Belmar, but I waited until I got home to relieve myself. Belmar has been known for it's alchohol based economy since the end of prohibition. I could testify to countless acts of lascivousness I have witnessed while driving in the town at night. My comic strip "BiNGE" is based on Asbury Park and Belmar of the 1980's. Ugly, gritty and self destructive population living in a social urinal on the Jersey shore. A common coment about Pringle is that he is destroying the local economy. Do you want employment in Belmar? Can you tend bar or flip pizzas? Can you tolorate the stench of vomit in your cab? Apply within. Seven pizza joints in the town, not one bookstore. If he gets his way I may have to look for a new job. Thanks Kenny, perhaps now I will get off my ass and seek employment where some guy named Tony isn't asking me "Where are all of the bitches and ho's at?" I think it speaks volumes when a drooling, crossed eyed individual with beer vomit on his shirt says "Pringle is ruining this town."

It was wrong for him to single out an ethnic group for his humor. That just isn't cool nowadays. We all know how Italian Americans have been stereo-typed in the media. I am sure most Italian decent Americans from the N.Y.C. area would never single out or use a racial slur against another minority for the sake of humor. They are too sensative for that. If Pringle had used the word "Bennie" instead of "Guido" all of this would have blown over by now.