The Super Bowl Thingy

Earlier this week a passenger asked me who was I betting on in the Super Bowl. I replied "Oh is it this week?" "Of course it is, you know that." "Not really, I never watched one." "YOU LIAR! Of course you have, everyone watches." Nope, never did, never will. Why would one lie about that? Both teams could burst into flames at the coin toss and I wouldn't give a damn. Once when a hyper-masculine drunk asked me if I had seen some NFL game and I said I don't follow football his next question was "Are you a queer?" Let's examine that conclusion, he spent all afternoon watching sweaty, muscular men roll around on top of each other in the mud. They get up off of each other and pat each others asses. Then the players take a shower together. THAT'S GAY.

POSITION WANTED

PRAY FOR ME! I must escape this vocational purgatory! A dysfunctional family business that is getting increasingly negative. Every time employees pull up, someone in the office has to ask; "Is he armed?" 12 hours duty last night, we each made about $60. Try to support your addictions on that. The nightly ugliness, the bullshit, the hazards. One coworker was joking about a passenger who drank herself to death. I don't want to become like these people. The past four years of driving cab at night has hardened me. I've learned not to trust anyone, learned to step on others before they could step on me. My naivety is gone my trust eroded away by the cancer of human nature.

Any longer out here, I'll loose all of my humanity. "Tonight on outrageous videos, a cabbie gets out of his car and cold cocks a NUN!"

Addictions first

I love convenience stores. You can feed most every addiction there. Coffee, smokes, lottery tickets. Need rolling papers? Gottem, and at least another dozen products that any creative stoner can use to conjure a high. Munchies in isle 2 and 3. Porn? Got it. It's three AM and you need a copy of 18+ Big Boob to get to sleep. Alcoholic? No they don't sell beer and the liquor store is closed now, here's some cold medicine. You seek comfort food. An orgy of empty calories await. Need to smoke crack, buy one of those little glass vases with the paper flower in it.

During my shift I stumble in five stores a night for the nicotine / caffeine fix. Having worked a convenience store, the employees have my sympathy. Like driving a cab at night, your customer base is the Night Of The Living Dead.

Totos the Teleprompter

Obama brought a teleprompter to a sixth grade class. Excuse me, isn't that like writing the answers on your cuffs? They're kids. Afraid of having a Dan Quayle moment? I thought you taught at Harvard, but you can't talk to kids without the help of a staff? You're like a robot that needs to be plugged in. One of those Disney hall of Presidents droids, programed with personality.

Presidential Race

In a snapshot of America, perhaps we've only been looking at the negative of the snapshot.
Over the past two years, I've noticed the only ones who consistently and loudly discuss President Obama's race are his supporters. Even in private conversations among conservatives race is not the issue, it's policy. The Dems waste no opportunity to mention skin color. I thought Liberals were above noticing such things. Ironically, it's Conservatives who live by the wisdom of "Judging a man by the content of his character, not the color of his skin." Wait, who first said that? It's the content of his character that Conservatives have always questioned. His political associations, radical individuals who would have been an anchor to any white conservatives. Be seen with a Pat Robertson and get tagged a "white, racist Jesus Freak" Jeremiah Wright? If I was the only white member of his congregation, I'd be lookin fo da door.

Now if conservative pundits had been using words like "Stupid, incompetent, dumb and ignorant" about Obama, as much as the liberals had used such adjectives on Palin, we'd be deaf from the screams. "look at how they view African Americans, stupid and ignorant, all conservatives are racists." So conversely, does that argument conclude that Liberal Dems are really sexist? The first female candidate is an incompetent bimbo acording to their voices. The women of "The View" aren't racist, however they are sexist, ok, now I am confused.


This is by far a very difficult period in U.S. history. It is the same in my personal life. I see in my life that these great difficulties and challenges hurt like a never ending case of the burning trots. Already it has made me a better person than I was, I fought the lessons tooth and nail. Hated every moment, denied it. Looking back at the old me with disdain. Having learned over decades lessons that today seem so obvious.

I hope in a decade America will look back over these trouble years an know that we are a better nation having studied the snapshots.

The 50 BOOBS

I heard on the news tonight that Hawaii is without a Representative because they can not afford an election. What da F*CK?! When New Jersey goes belly up and decides not to give us the very basic government services I'm going to Trenton and demand my deposit back. What did you really do with the money I gave you? I'm suing for breach of contract. The BBB will be notified that NJ did not carry thru on services and people should not do business with them. Dead beat states, I learn to expect it from my room mate, my landlord expects it from me, his ex from him etc. But damn it, we don't expect elected officials to be INCOMPETENT liers. Liars? Yes, but be professional.

OK, one more Guido in my cab story...

Closing time in August: Three over juiced t-shirt stretchers get in my cab at D-Jaise night club on the ocean. For those not familiar with D-Jaise, it's a club in Belmar NJ that Italians go to during mating season, at least in the summer mating season. Who knows where the hell they go for the other three mating seasons. Anyway, these Goombas dumped hundreds at the bar on bimbos and struck out. So they bang and squeeze themselves into my car complaining about how stuck up the bitches were. As I maneuver down narrow streets at 2 am dodging vomiting tourists with four drunk, frustrated and angry steroid junkies surrounding me, one taps me on the shoulder. "Yo! You a cab driver, you gotta know where we can get our c*cks sucked! Come'on, good cabbies always know where we can get our c*cks sucked! We'll even PAY TO GET OUR C*CKS SUCKED!" "Nope, sorry dudes, I don't" I did know of a place in Neptune city that was open. But would I send you in and say "Tell'em driver 27 sent you..." No way, They'd never let me back in again.
So I said real loud, "There's four of you, go back to your room, put on some porn and daisy chain it dudes. First one who cums has to suck off the other three." Ok, I said that about a mile after I dropped their drunk asses off.